It is Thursday afternoon, and a Grade 7 learner in Midstream has her first tutoring session at four o’clock. She is nervous. She has not told anyone, but she is worried the tutor will discover just how much she does not understand. Her mother, meanwhile, is wondering what she should have ready, what she should say and whether to stay in the room.
At Kith, we hear these quiet worries from parents and learners alike. The first session sets the tone for everything that follows, and a little preparation makes a big difference. In this guide, we share our private tutoring tips for getting off to a good start: what to prepare, what to tell your child, what usually happens in the first session and how to help your child feel relaxed and ready.
Why the first session matters
A first tutoring session is not a test. It is a chance for the tutor and your child to get to know each other, for the tutor to understand where your child is and for everyone to agree on where they are heading. When it goes well, your child leaves feeling understood rather than judged, and that feeling is often what makes the next session easier.
We believe private tutoring changes more than marks. It involves identifying learning gaps, explaining concepts differently and helping learners develop the confidence to solve problems independently. A calm, well-prepared first session is where that begins
Before the Session: What Parents Can Prepare
Share the full picture
The more your tutor knows, the better the first session will be. Gather recent school reports, test and exam results, any feedback from your child’s teacher and examples of homework where your child struggled. Note which subjects and topics are causing the most difficulty, and anything else that might help, such as how your child feels about school.
At Kith, tutors receive information about the learner, their goals, the lesson format, the schedule and the location before deciding whether to proceed, so both sides know what to expect. Adding your own notes gives the tutor a head start.
Be clear about your goals
Think about what you want tutoring to achieve. Is it catch-up in one subject, building confidence, preparing for exams or support with homework and study skills? Goals do not have to be only about marks. “Feel less afraid of maths” or “finish homework without tears” are valid goals, and they help the tutor plan
Talk to your child first
How your child hears about tutoring matters. If it sounds like a punishment, they will arrive defensive. If it sounds like extra help from someone on their side, they are far more likely to arrive curious. You might say that everyone needs help with something, that the tutor’s job is to make the work feel clearer and that it is perfectly fine not to know things yet. Ask what they find hardest, and let them help decide what to work on.
Sort out the practicalities
Choose a quiet, well-lit place with a clear table, away from the television and noise. If the session is online, check the internet connection, charge devices beforehand and test the video and audio. Think about timing too: a child who has just come out of a long school day may need a snack and a short break first
Gather materials
Have the following ready:
• Textbooks, workbooks and notes for the subject
• Recent homework, tests and exam papers
• Stationery, and a calculator where relevant
• The school assessment calendar, so the tutor knows what is coming up
• A short list of questions or topics your child wants help with
Preparing Your Child
Younger children usually do best with a simple, warm explanation: “Someone is coming to help you with reading. You’ll play some games and read together.” Keep the focus on friendliness and fun.
Older learners often appreciate being included in the decision. Let them tell the tutor what they find difficult in their own words. Reassure them that the tutor is not there to criticise, and encourage them to ask questions, however small. A child who walks in with one thing they are keen to understand is already off to a good start.
Avoid putting pressure on the first session with comments like “You have to improve your marks.” Confidence comes first, and marks usually follow.
What typically happens in a first session
Every tutor works a little differently, but a first session usually includes some of the following:
- Getting to know each other. The tutor asks about school, favourite and least favourite subjects and how your child likes to learn.
- Finding the starting point. The tutor may work through a few questions, read a passage together or look at recent work to see where understanding is strong and where it breaks down.
- Agreeing goals. Together, you and the tutor decide what to focus on first and how you will measure progress.
- Planning ahead. You will agree the schedule, how you will communicate and any work for your child to do between sessions.
Your child may get things wrong in this session, and that is useful. It shows the tutor where to begin.
Questions to Ask the Tutor
A good tutor welcomes questions. Consider asking:
- How will you find out where the gaps are?
- How will we know whether the sessions are working?
- How will you keep me updated on progress?
- What do you need from us at home?
- How do you link your lessons to what the school is teaching?
- What should we do if we need to reschedule a session?
You can also expect the tutor to ask you questions about your child’s learning, confidence, routines and goals. Honest answers help the tutor plan.
Your role during the session
For younger children, it is sensible to be at home and nearby, and for online sessions to use a shared space rather than a bedroom. For older learners, a little privacy often helps them speak freely, but an adult should still be at home. Staying close enough to be available, without hovering, strikes the right balance. If you do sit in on the first session, try to let your child lead, since they may be more honest when you are not answering for them
After the session
Keep the debrief light. Instead of “What did you learn?”, try “What was one thing you liked?” or “Was there anything you’d like to do differently next time?” Note any work the tutor has set, and send the tutor a short message if you have thoughts or questions.
Give it time. Confidence grows gradually, so look for small signs first, such as your child starting homework more willingly or asking a question they would previously have avoided. We suggest a brief check-in with the tutor after a few weeks to review how things are going and whether the goals still fit. We explore this more in our article on private tutoring and academic confidence.
Common mistakes to avoid
- Expecting instant results. Progress is usually steady rather than dramatic.
- Presenting tutoring as punishment. This makes children defensive and less open to learning.
- Overloading the schedule. A tired child learns less. Try to keep sessions at a time when your child has some energy left.
- Holding back information. Tutors can only help with what they know.
- Comparing your child with a sibling or classmate. It undermines the confidence tutoring is meant to build.
- Cancelling often. Consistency matters, especially in the early weeks.
When an Au Pair can help too
Many families find that a tutor and an au pair complement each other. A private tutor provides focused, subject-specific support, while an au pair can help build a calm afternoon routine: a snack, a quiet space, textbooks ready on the table and time for the homework set between sessions. If you are juggling work and school runs, that kind of support can make tutoring sessions run more smoothly and help your child get more out of them. We are happy to talk through whether an au pair would suit your family alongside tutoring.
How we match a tutor
When we help families find a private tutor, we match around your child’s grade, subjects and individual learning needs. A tutor’s qualifications, strongest subjects, preferred grade levels, teaching style and availability all matter. We look for people with at least a year of tutoring, teaching or academic mentoring experience who are confident teaching their chosen subjects. Our tutors support learners from Grade R to Grade 12, in person, online or a combination, depending on your family’s requirements and the tutor’s availability.
Our tutor checks can include identity, references, qualifications and a criminal record check and background verification. We also ask tutors to commit for at least six to twelve months or a full academic term, so your child can build a steady relationship and make real progress. At Kith, indicative pricing for private tutoring currently starts from R350 per hour.
Starting well
The best private tutoring tips come down to preparation, honesty and patience. Share what you know, set simple goals, help your child see the tutor as someone on their side and give the relationship time to grow. A relaxed, well-prepared first session often makes the biggest difference to how tutoring goes.
If you are looking for a private tutor who is the right fit for your child, we would love to hear from you. Get in touch with Kith, tell us about your child’s grade, subjects and what they are finding difficult, and we will help you find a tutor who suits your family. And if you also need help with afternoon routines and school runs, we are happy to talk about au pair support as well.
Frequently Asked Questions
What should I prepare for my child’s first tutoring session?
Gather recent school reports, test results and homework, note the topics your child finds hardest and set a few simple goals. Choose a quiet place, have textbooks and stationery ready and, for online sessions, check the internet connection and devices beforehand.
What happens in a first private tutoring session?
Usually the tutor gets to know your child, looks at where their understanding is strong and where it breaks down, agrees goals with you and plans what comes next. Every tutor works a little differently, but it is a chance to get started, not a test.
Should I sit in on my child’s tutoring session?
For younger children, be at home and nearby, and for online lessons use a shared space. Many older learners prefer a little privacy, but an adult should still be at home. If you sit in on the first session, let your child lead.
How long before I see results from private tutoring?
It varies. Confidence often shows first, in small ways such as starting homework more willingly or asking questions. Marks usually follow. A brief check-in with the tutor after a few weeks is a good way to review progress.
What if my child does not click with the tutor?
Talk to the tutor first, as small adjustments can make a difference. If it still does not feel right, get in touch with us so we can talk through your options.
