Most parents who come to us have already been through the same mental checklist. The school run clashes with a work meeting. Homework is still waiting at 18:00. Afternoons are a patchwork of extra-murals, appointments and “who is fetching whom?” messages. Somewhere in the middle of it, you start wondering whether an au pair could help.
At Kith, we hear this often, and the next question is almost always the same: “What will an au pair actually do?” The responsibilities for au pairs differ from one household to the next, but there are clear patterns. In this guide, we explain what we consider typical, how to agree the details with your family’s needs in mind, and what to put in place so that everyone is clear from day one.
What does an au Pair do in a South African household?
At Kith, we see an au pair as the all-rounder for busy family life. She is someone who provides attentive care for school-going children, and who also takes on the everyday logistics that make a household run smoothly: school runs, homework supervision, activities and afternoon routines, all from one familiar, trusted person.
The word that matters most is placement. Responsibilities depend on your children’s ages, your work hours, where you live and what your family needs most. An au pair for two primary schoolers in Waterfall will have a different week from one supporting a Grade 9 learner in Irene. That is why we always begin by understanding your family before we suggest anyone.
Everyday responsibilities for Au Pairs
School runs and transport.
For many South African families, this is the heart of the role. Au pairs help children travel safely and reliably between school, home, appointments and extra-mural activities. In practice, that might mean collecting a Grade 2 child at 13:30, taking an older sibling to cricket practice and being home in time for supper. Local detail matters here. Estate gates, traffic at peak times and the distance between school and home all affect how smooth the afternoon feels. Some placements require an au pair with a valid driver’s licence and a reliable vehicle, while others do not. We state transport requirements up front, so nobody discovers them after the placement has begun
Homework and learning support.
After school is when many families feel stretched. An au pair can provide patient, encouraging support with homework, reading, school projects and a productive afternoon routine. The goal is a calm routine where children sit down, get started and know someone is there if they get stuck. It helps to be realistic, though. An au pair can support the habit of homework and help with reading and general schoolwork. If your child needs subject-specific help, such as Grade 11 Mathematics or exam preparation, a private tutor is usually the better fit, and the two roles can work well side by side.
After-school routines and mealtimes
Children thrive on predictable rhythms, and an au pair can help your family keep them: snack time, supper, bath, packing school bags and winding down towards bedtime. We think of these as structured daily routines and child-related responsibilities. They are the small, repeated moments that make children feel settled.
Play, activities and engagement
A good au pair does more than supervise. She plans age-appropriate activities, supports play and creates positive experiences that help children’s development, whether that is a craft afternoon, time outdoors, reading together or getting a reluctant child involved in a game. Your family’s own house rules should guide this, including screen time, snacks and how you handle behaviour
Keeping you in the loop
Open communication is part of the job. You should expect to hear how the afternoon went, what the children ate, how homework progressed and anything that needs your attention. The families we work with also have access to a child’s record of important daily notes, milestones and progress, so they are never left guessing.
School Holidays: Plan them in advance
Few things create more confusion than school holidays. Routines change, children are home all day and families often travel. We encourage you to talk about holidays before the placement starts, rather than in the first week of December. Think about what a typical holiday week looks like, whether the au pair will be part of any family trips, and how plans will be communicated. A short conversation at the beginning prevents misunderstandings later and shows your au pair that you respect her time.
- A formal invitation letter from the host family, describing the role and payment
- Proof of accommodation for the stay
- Proof of financial means
- A police clearance certificate from the au pair’s home country
- Travel or medical insurance covering the stay
This route tends to work for shorter placements. Longer or renewed stays get harder, because each extension is its own application with no guarantee of approval.
Keep the role centred on the children
The au pair role is built around children and child-related responsibilities. In our experience, difficulties tend to arise when a role quietly grows beyond what was originally agreed. Tasks pile up, expectations shift and nobody has explicitly said yes to them.
Our advice is to keep duties focused on the children’s day. If your household also needs general housekeeping support, talk to us about it before the placement begins so that it is discussed openly and agreed in advance, rather than assumed. If something changes later, raise it early. We encourage families and au pairs to speak up quickly so that expectations can be clarified before frustration builds.
Au Pair, Nanny or Tutor: Where Do the Responsibilities Sit?
It can help to see how the three roles differ:
- An au pair supports school-going children with transport, homework, activities and afternoon routines.
- A nanny provides more hands-on care for younger children, including feeding, routines, naps, play and supervision.
- A private tutor gives focused academic support, including homework, reading, exam preparation and catch-up work matched to your child’s grade and subjects.
Many families find that their needs change as their children grow. A nanny for a toddler today maybecome an au pair for primary school years, and a tutor may join in later. If you are unsure which suits you, we are glad to talk it through.
Write It Down: A Simple Checklist for Parents
Whatever you decide, we strongly encourage putting your expectations in writing. It does not need
to be a long document. A single page covering the following is often enough:
- The weekly schedule, including school runs and extra-murals
- Transport details, such as routes, pick-up points, estate access and whether driving is required
- Homework routines and what support you expect
- House rules on screen time, food, play and behaviour
- What to do in an emergency, and who to contact first
- How you would like to hear about the day
- How you will raise concerns or request changes to the role
Putting this on paper protects everyone. Your au pair knows exactly what is expected, and you know what you can reasonably ask for. We clarify expectations before a placement begins, but your own written routine makes the first few weeks far smoother.
What We Look For in an Au Pair
Understanding the responsibilities is only half the picture. The person you choose matters just as much. When we consider an au pair for a family, we look for someone who is reliable, energetic and genuinely good with children. We also ask for:
- Experience: at least a year of childcare experience, with references we can call
- Maturity: au pairs must be 19 or older
- Commitment: readiness to commit to a family for 12 months, because children benefit from
consistency - Preparation: every Kith Companion is trained and certified through the Kith Academy, covering first aid, child development, learning support, safeguarding and professional practice
Before we introduce anyone, they also go through our seven-stage vetting process: identity and right-to-work verification, SAPS police clearance, child-protection screening against the Sexual Offences Register and Child Protection Register, reference triangulation, a practical assessment with children, an in-person interview and continuous re-checking for as long as they are with us.
Then comes matching. A qualification can tell us what someone has learned, but it cannot tell us whether she will suit a shy six-year-old or a household that runs on routine. That is why we introduce a small number of people we believe could genuinely fit into your home, rather than a long list to scroll through.
How We Support the Placement
Our relationship with your family does not end on the first day. A real person at Kith remains available throughout the placement. We handle contracts, payslips and UIF administration, and keep your child’s record up to date. If the fit is not right, we help find someone who is, through free re-matching. If your Companion becomes unavailable, we work to place a vetted replacement within 48 hours, and backup care is available when you need extra support at short notice.
Getting the Responsibilities Right From the Start
The responsibilities for au pairs come down to a handful of things: school runs, homework support, afternoon routines, engaging care and clear communication. Families who feel confident in the arrangement are usually the ones who defined the role early, wrote it down and chose someone whose personality suited their household.
If you are looking for an au pair who fits your family’s routine, values and childcare needs, we would love to hear from you. Book a free home visit with Kith, tell us about your children and your week, and we will help you find someone you can genuinely trust.
